This Christmas, Emberly Wadsworth, 29, has found a beautiful way to honor her late son, Tatum, while creating a magical memory for her daughter, Anna Grace, lovingly called Gracie. Using the popular Elf on the Shelf tradition, Emberly has added a bittersweet twist to keep Tatum’s memory alive during the holiday season.
Turning grief into a tradition
Tatum was born a micro preemie, weighing just 1 lb., 5 oz., after being diagnosed with Severe Intrauterine Growth Restriction during Emberly’s pregnancy. Despite spending seven months in the hospital and showing incredible resilience, Tatum passed away in September 2023 due to complications from Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia and other health challenges.
Though the loss is still fresh, Emberly felt inspired to include Tatum in their family’s Christmas celebrations. While shopping, she saw elves for sale and suddenly thought, Gracie is going to get two elves this year: hers and Tatum’s.
“I always try to find little ways to keep Tatum’s memory alive,” Emberly shares in an interview with PEOPLE. “This felt like a special way to actively remember him this holiday season.”
Related: 20 easy Elf on the Shelf ideas for magical Christmas fun all December long
A magical surprise for Gracie
In a viral TikTok video that has gone viral with over 1.6 million views and 130,000 likes, Emberly shared the heartfelt moment Gracie discovered her two elves. The family’s Elf on the Shelf created “Santa’s Workshop” and left a note explaining why there were now two elves in their home.
The note read:
Some kids have a sibling who’s in heaven. When that happens, there’s an extra elf who no longer has a kid to visit. So Santa came up with a brilliant plan: the extra elf joins the family it was originally assigned to. This year, and all future years, you get two of us!
Gracie’s face lit up with excitement as she exclaimed, “Beautiful!” (though she humorously noted her new elf had eaten all her candy).
@ebandjohn I planned this a still cried! #elf #elfontheshelf #infantloss #santa #christmas #christmasinheaven ♬ original sound – Wadsfam
Keeping Tatum’s memory alive
For Gracie, Tatum’s elf has a special role—it “flies to the North Pole and to heaven to send messages to Tatum,” Emberly shares. Gracie often talks to her elves as if they’re friends, which has created a unique way for the family to feel connected to Tatum.
“This idea has, in a unique way, made it feel like we get to talk to Tatum every day,” Emberly shares in her People.com interview.
While Emberly admits she misses Tatum deeply, she says, “It’s important to me to make this holiday season magical for Gracie. Even in our pain, we find joy in remembering and honoring our sweet boy.”
Related: After losing her dad, this 8-year-old’s holiday gesture will leave you in tears
A powerful example of love
Emberly’s thoughtful tradition is not just a testament to her love for her children but also a touching reminder of how families can keep the memory of their loved ones alive in meaningful ways. Her story has resonated deeply with other families, as evidenced by the hundreds of heartfelt comments on her viral video.
- @AngelMom87: “As someone who lost my brother very young, you are giving her the space for grief, how to have that space during holidays. That is something I learned much later, but is so important.”
- @GrievingSister2023: “I lost my sister last year, and since she passed, I buy my daughter birthday and Christmas gifts from her auntie and tell her she sent it all for her because she misses her. This made me cry.”
- @KariRebecca: “On the last day, brother’s elf should be able to give her a hug from him as a special gift. I heard they can do that.”
- @LauraKindness: “My friend’s son just passed away & they put wings on his elf so that his elf could fly up to heaven & come back down to visit Lilly too.”
- @BettyMom: “As a mom who lost one of her kiddos, I needed this.”
Emberly’s story not only honors Tatum’s life but also inspires others to find creative ways to cherish the memories of their loved ones during the holiday season.
