If you’ve ever attempted to combine self-care with parenting small children, you’ll feel seen by Lisa Perese-Cullen’s viral TikTok with 475K views that’s making moms everywhere snort-laugh through their exhaustion. In the painfully relatable video, she’s captured outside, bent forward over the camera with headphones mocking her from around her neck, looking like she’s just survived some sort of domestic obstacle course while wrestling both a tangled dog leash and her child’s scooter and helmet.
The text overlay says it all: “Went on a ‘mental health walk’ with two kids and a dog. It did more damage than good because WTF was that.”
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The cruel joke that is ‘family wellness time’
You know that feeling when your GPS cheerfully announces “you have arrived” but you’re clearly staring at an empty lot? That’s the promise versus reality of a mental health walk with children. You set out seeking endorphins and return with nothing but cortisol and possibly a stranger’s half-eaten lollipop your toddler found and refused to surrender. What should have been 30 minutes of blissful solitude becomes a three-hour hostage negotiation with beings who somehow turn walking—the most basic human function—into an extreme sport.
As TikTok user @thegirlwiththeblacktatt brilliantly put it: “I firmly believe mental health walks are for YOURSELF, ALONE. Not the family lol.” Amen, sister. Whoever sold us on the idea that “family walks are refreshing” was clearly a childless marketing executive with a perfectly behaved Golden Retriever. Another commenter, @bethanyharrisonko, cut through the nonsense with perfect simplicity: “It’s just a ‘mental’ walk.” Mental indeed—as in, you must be mental to think this would be relaxing.
The five stages of family walk grief
“The first 5 minutes really does trick you into thinking it’ll be a nice walk 🫠 then you’ve got a dog running away, a kid refusing to walk and the other thinks they’re Bear Grylls 😭,” commented @rebeccadh21, describing with eerie accuracy the exact pattern of disintegration that occurs on these outings. Those headphones around her neck? The ultimate symbol of parental delusion. As @alison.therapist pointed out, “I just know you couldn’t even use those headphones.” Of course not! They’re just there to taunt you with the memory of what uninterrupted thoughts used to feel like.
While I’d willingly wear a weighted vest to increase the calorie burn of my walk, I draw the line at the full-body workout of carrying a balance bike under one arm and a screaming toddler under the other, all while being slammed repeatedly in the ankle by a rogue scooter. That’s not exercise—that’s a CrossFit nightmare designed by tiny sadists.
The twisted irony of murder podcasts being less stressful than kids
Here’s the most ridiculous part: I find listening to detailed accounts of gruesome murders MORE relaxing than taking my precious angels for a simple stroll. Let that sink in. Stories about actual homicide are a mental health UPGRADE from the chaos of a family walk. There’s something profoundly wrong with that math, and yet every mom nodding along right now knows it’s the cold, hard truth.
When a narrator describing how someone disposed of body parts feels like a meditation app compared to your six-year-old’s 47th consecutive “why” question, you know something’s fundamentally broken in your wellness equation. Yet here we are, finding sweet relief in tales of true crime while our children turn a simple walk into psychological warfare.
Why true mental health walks matter (and how to actually escape)
Mental health walks aren’t just a mirage of wellness we’re chasing—they genuinely help when done correctly (read: ALONE). Research shows that walking can reduce anxiety, decrease symptoms of depression, and improve overall mood through the release of endorphins.
But here’s the unvarnished truth: those benefits evaporate faster than your patience when tiny humans are involved.
Some radical ways to actually get the mental health boost you’re desperately craving:
- Tell your family you’re “going to check the mail” and then power-walk around the block twice
- Schedule your solo walk like it’s a colonoscopy—uncomfortable to discuss but absolutely necessary
- Swap childcare with another equally desperate parent for regular walking breaks
- Wake up before your kids (I know, I know, but desperate times…)
- Lock yourself in the bathroom with a fitness app and march in place (sad but effective)
Because while family walks are one thing—there’s whining and complaining in the name of “quality time”—a boost to mental health they most certainly are not.
So to Lisa Perese-Cullen and all the other parents who’ve fallen for the cruel myth that self-care can happen with children present: we see you, we feel you, and we’re saving you a spot on the solo walkers’ bench—just as soon as you can convince someone else it’s their turn to play human jungle gym for an hour.
Related: This viral TikTok captures what it’s like to parent through exhaustion and mental health struggles