One mom’s viral TikTok is speaking the unspoken truth of early-rising parents everywhere, and we’re slow-clapping through our coffee-induced jitters.
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The 5 AM wake-up call
TikToker @realronsina recently took to the platform with a passionate plea that has parents everywhere nodding so vigorously they’re at risk of whiplash: Why on earth do kids’ activities and venues open so late in the day?
“Can somebody please explain to me why the stuff for kids opens at 10, 11 o’clock in the morning?” she asks in her now-viral video. “Y’all, we have been up since 5:15. I’ve lived five different lives. I’ve cooked two meals. I’ve watched 16 hours of TV.”
The hilarious rant continues as she lists all the activities she’s already completed with her little one—from singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” to multiple potty trips, four snacks, and an hour outside—all before these kid-centered businesses even unlock their doors.
And honestly? The woman speaks nothing but truth.
Roosters with opposable thumbs
For the uninitiated (or blissfully childless), young children are essentially roosters with opposable thumbs. They rise with the sun—or often before it—ready to tackle the day with energy that would make an Olympic athlete question their life choices. Meanwhile, parents are left scrambling to fill hours upon hours before the rest of the world decides to join the party.
As @realronsina points out with perfect comic timing: “By the time y’all open, we’ve made it to high school graduation. They can watch their damn selves.”
Parents in the comments: We feel you
The comments section quickly filled with equally frustrated parents sharing their solidarity and alternative solutions.
“So what you’re telling me is if I quit my job as a teacher and open an indoor playground/cafe that opens very early I would be successful?” asked commenter S.Hall, who might actually be onto something revolutionary.
Another parent, Jenn, was even more specific about her needs: “We need indoor playground/cafes open at 6am pleaseeeeee heavy on the coffee.”
Even those without children have noticed this phenomenon. As Sierra commented, “I don’t have kids but one time I saw a LINE of parents and kids waiting at the door of the indoor playground at 9:58AM. They looked STRESSED 😭”
The timing issue creates another problem too—by the time these venues finally open their doors, it’s rapidly approaching the sacred naptime hour. As our TikTok truth-teller points out: “By the time y’all open, I drive there. They play for 20 minutes. They’re going to be cranky. They’re now fighting the kid for a plastic banana.”
Getting creative (or desperate)
Some parents have gotten creative with their solutions. User Embrace.It.All shared, “Lowe’s opens at 7. Used to take the kids and let them explore the model kitchens and appliances.” (Home improvement stores everywhere are silently thanking parents for filling their aisles during otherwise quiet morning hours.)
A business opportunity waiting to happen
The frustration is real, and it points to a larger disconnect between family-friendly businesses and the actual rhythms of family life. While the 9-to-5 working world might consider 10 AM to be mid-morning, parents of young children are already halfway through their day by then.
There’s clearly an untapped market here. The first entrepreneur to open a clean, safe indoor playground with strong WiFi, stronger coffee, and doors that unlock at 6 AM will likely have parents throwing money at them faster than a toddler throws food from a high chair.
The morning marathon continues
Until that glorious day arrives, parents will continue their early morning pilgrimages to empty park playgrounds, extended living room fort sessions, and perhaps a few more explorations of Lowe’s kitchen displays.
As @realronsina so perfectly summarizes: “If y’all open at 8 o’clock, that would be perfect. Because it’s like, by the time we get the kids off to school we can head your way.”
Parents of early risers everywhere: we see you, we hear you, and we’re right there with you—bleary-eyed at 6 AM, wondering how we’re going to fill the next four hours until the world decides to wake up and welcome us in.
Related: Mom swaps modern cartoons for ’90s TV—her toddler’s reaction stunned her